its my little brothers birthday. he is turning six today. i am sitting here on my computer eating chicken like a starving wolf. i just started trying to finish the prologue of my story. i did it. im on chapter one now. im also ata rutt...writers block.
i died my hair and cut it yesterday. it didnt turn out the way i wanted it to...instead of pale blond, it came out rich bronze...but my cut is cute!!! i have bangs now. my hair is layerd too! i would put up a pic. but i found out why i cant post pics! bacause my profile on my side of the computer doesnt do the same thing as the main computer profile. i cant upload any of the pics. and i cant download informational CDs. but yeah, so i cant upload a picture of what i look like now. but oh well, i dont care. im actually greatfull. i look HORRABLE. mom says that our family has a long line of gourgious people, and ive noticed, but i guess im an exeption to that. i just look to strange. i have natural tanned skin. everyone else is pale. i am tall when their all short. i am thin while they are a little thicker...and i have some weird gene that gives me an odd.....well, people think i am older than i am. i know why now, but i dont exactly know why im that way. blue eyes run in the family. mine change color...my hair isnt blond like theirs either. its a dull redish brown...auburn....well. its bronze now, so i dont have to worry about it so much.
i never really had an ego when it came down to looks. just adittude. people think im hard core. but im actually kinda sensative. i was crying recently over almost nothing at all. i find that i cry when im mad too. like, when mica started calling me mean names, i got pissed and swore at him, then walked away. at first i felt triumphant and ticked off. but then i felt unwanted and unnessasary. i started to cry despite the fact that i was mad. i felt bad that i had also lost it and swore at the guy.
im not mean or anything, and i usualy end up crying when i think ive hurt someone elses feelings, even if they deserve it.
but on that note, im going to end my little pointless post and move on to th song of the day.
SONG OF THE DAY: secondhand serenade " a twist in my story"
slow down, the world isnt watching us break down
its safe to say we're alone now. we're alone now.
not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver.
im counting the seconds until you break the silence.
so please just break the silence.
the whispers turn to shouting.
the shouting turns to tears.
yours tears turn to laughter.
and it washes away our fears.
so you see, this world doesnt matter to me.
ill give up all i have just to breathe the same air
as you till the day that i die, i cant take my eyes off of you.
im longing for words to describe how im feeling.
im feeling inspired, my world just slipped.
turned upside down.
and turned around. say whats that sound?
its my heart beat. this couldnt be better. my heart beat.
its stronger than ever, im feeling so alive, im feeling so alive.
the whispers turn to shouting. the shouting turns to tears.
your tears turn to laughter. and it washes away our fears
so you see, this world doesnt matter to me.
ill give up all have just to breathe the same air as you till the day i die.
i cant take my eyes off of you.
im finally waking up. a twist in my story.
its time im waking up, and let your love shine through me.
im finally waking up. a twist in my story.
its time im waking up, and let your love shine through me.
cos thats what you get,
when you see your life through someone elses eyes.
thats what you get, thats what you get.
so you see, this world doesnt matter to me.
ill give up all i have just to breathe the same air as you till the day that i die
i cant take my eyes off of you.
so you see, this wolrd doesnt matter to me.
ill give all that i have just to breathe the same air as you till the day that i die.
i cant take my eyes off of you.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
manuscript update
yeah, yesterday i was hit by a avalanch of idias. and i got some of them down on paper before i had to do some more laundry and cook dinner. its my story, the first part in the series im writing. the name of it is "forever". i figuered, there arent many vamp romances around, and since stephanie meyers went so well, why not try my hand at them instead of writing fanfics on quizilla.
shout out to john: I USE THE NAME JOHN IN ALOT OF MY STORIES. i like that name, and i dont care if you thinks its dull and too common. it has alot of charicter, and it makes the person seem alot more real.
but yeah, i got half of the prologue done. that doesnt mean i havnt wroten alot. just the oposite, i have writtin quite alot. it will be a long prologue. i might work on it a bit today. i woke up early, and i am tyerd still. i have to baby sit my six year old little brother river. what a pain.
i thought i wanted lots of kids....but after having to baby sit three of my sisters and one of mine, including and thirteen year old juvinile delinquent [my cousin colton] i am limiting myself to a short number of TWO!
i cant emagin wanting five or six kids anymore. and i think this is healthier for my body too.
shana said that any time i want kids or i want sex, just borrow her little monsters for a day, and that would change my mind. it works!!!
but thankfully, i have a week, just one more week, to go until i can see my james....i cant wait. there is a sinking feeling in my gut that developes when i think of him, merely because i think he might be losing interest, wich, i will do my best, to stay active and fun.
today is my 18 year old brothers birthday. he went to live with his dad last year, and we havnt seen him since. we know he's out there still, because he called my ex-step-fathers house. he refuses to call my mom. how immature. she raised him since he was a baby. his father didnt even want him! and he just pushes his family away to go live with the father that didnt want him!
its sick.
but yeah, i dont have much more to say.
SONG OF THE DAY: secondhand serenade "your call"
waiting for your call. im sick, call im angry.
call im desperate for your voice.
im listening to the song we used to sing, im in the car,
do you remember, butterfly, ealy summer,
its playing on repeat, just like when we would meet.
like when we would meet.
i was born to tell you i love you.
and im torn to do what i have to.
to make you mine, stay with me tonight.
stripped and pilished, i am new, i am fresh
i am feeling so ambitious.
you and me, flesh to flesh
cos every breath that you will take
when your sitting next to me,
will bring life into my deepest hopes.
whats your fantasy?
whats your...whats your...
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to,
to make you mine
stay with me tonight.
and i am tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
and im tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
and im tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
im tired of being all alone
but this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to
to make you mine stay with me tonight.
shout out to john: I USE THE NAME JOHN IN ALOT OF MY STORIES. i like that name, and i dont care if you thinks its dull and too common. it has alot of charicter, and it makes the person seem alot more real.
but yeah, i got half of the prologue done. that doesnt mean i havnt wroten alot. just the oposite, i have writtin quite alot. it will be a long prologue. i might work on it a bit today. i woke up early, and i am tyerd still. i have to baby sit my six year old little brother river. what a pain.
i thought i wanted lots of kids....but after having to baby sit three of my sisters and one of mine, including and thirteen year old juvinile delinquent [my cousin colton] i am limiting myself to a short number of TWO!
i cant emagin wanting five or six kids anymore. and i think this is healthier for my body too.
shana said that any time i want kids or i want sex, just borrow her little monsters for a day, and that would change my mind. it works!!!
but thankfully, i have a week, just one more week, to go until i can see my james....i cant wait. there is a sinking feeling in my gut that developes when i think of him, merely because i think he might be losing interest, wich, i will do my best, to stay active and fun.
today is my 18 year old brothers birthday. he went to live with his dad last year, and we havnt seen him since. we know he's out there still, because he called my ex-step-fathers house. he refuses to call my mom. how immature. she raised him since he was a baby. his father didnt even want him! and he just pushes his family away to go live with the father that didnt want him!
its sick.
but yeah, i dont have much more to say.
SONG OF THE DAY: secondhand serenade "your call"
waiting for your call. im sick, call im angry.
call im desperate for your voice.
im listening to the song we used to sing, im in the car,
do you remember, butterfly, ealy summer,
its playing on repeat, just like when we would meet.
like when we would meet.
i was born to tell you i love you.
and im torn to do what i have to.
to make you mine, stay with me tonight.
stripped and pilished, i am new, i am fresh
i am feeling so ambitious.
you and me, flesh to flesh
cos every breath that you will take
when your sitting next to me,
will bring life into my deepest hopes.
whats your fantasy?
whats your...whats your...
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to,
to make you mine
stay with me tonight.
and i am tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
and im tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
and im tired of being all alone
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
im tired of being all alone
but this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and im torn to do what i have to
i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to
to make you mine stay with me tonight.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
post christmas joy
well, christmas went well. yay! i got some really neat stuff. i got a new mp3 player. its slick, but i have no idia how to to work it....it refusis to turn off when i turn it on...and then the screan simply gets stuck on one thing, making it impossible to listen to music.
on the upside, i got a cell phone! tis wonderful. my dad has been texting me alot. im running low on minutes, but when ever i get some, it doubles! and then i got some of the twilight series. mom got me "breaking dawn" the last book of the series, but i realised, i already had that book on my shelf! but then she got me two thers from the series, "eclipse" the third book, and "new moon" the second. so now i have two of the same book, and the only one in the series that i dont have is the first book "twilight". other than that, i got a few harry potter games for my gameboy advance. no DS games this year.
at around seven oclock, me and my mom and my little brother had to drive on fewms all the way down to mancelona to go to the christmas party at my aunt mell's place. we just barely made it before the truck ran out of gas. my uncle bill syfined some gas into the truck so we could get home too.
but while we where there, quite a few things happened. me and torrie sung non-christmas-related song while colton jammed on his guitar. we where OUTSIDE for christams dinner. when torries boyfriend taylor showed up, the teens all went inside. colton and taylor jammed on there guitars while i messed with the piano. i joined them finally when they started to wrestle. taylor won the brawl...than colton decided he wanted to get his butt kicked by ME. i kicked him in the gut, face, and nuts before he finaly punched me in the chest and then tripped me...i pulled him down too by accident. and heres the thing...colton isnt axactly thin anymore....he's "fluffy". not fat, but not skinny.....and i accidentaly pulled him ON me. i got the wind knocked out of me! i now have a fair sized bruise on my side.
after all of that, we settled down and played vidio games while torrie and taylor started making out on the coutch. i got smoked by taylor at guitar hero, but hey, i havnt played in a while, and he's a REAL guitar player. so ofcourse i would lose.
i dicided a while ago that i would be cutting my hair and dying it blond. and i plan on doing it soon....before james gets bored and decides to dump me....mom doesnt think he will, but i havnt seen him in two weeks, how do i know he hasnt already lost his interest in me? all i can do it wait and see whats ahead when school starts up again...i cant wait until i am out of school, so i can find a more mature guy, someone who graduated a considerable amount of year before me.....maybe someone at least five years more experience that i have. but hey, i dont know, i might just end up with a guy who feels exactly like me, and then fall in love with him before getting to really know him. it wouldnt be good, but maybe i could start from scratch and have enough tallent to pull up a writing career and get a house for us to live in.......i would much rather have an experienced guy.
but anyway, today, i finished the book "eclipse" again. i love the twilight series, it never gets old.
but then mom decided that the house was too dirty to live in, and made me and river clean. im still not finished with the laundry or the dishis, wich is why i will be ending this post soon.
SONG OF THE DAY: secondhand serenade "stranger"
turn around,turn around and fix your
eys in my derection
so there is a connection
i cant speak, cant make a sound to capture
your attention
im starring at perfection
take a look at me
so you can see how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thought are
leaving you tonight
im broken,abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
im confident, ut i cant pretend i wasnt terrified to meet you.
i knew you could see right through me
i saw my life flash before my vary eyes
and i knew just what we'd turn into
i was hoping you could see
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thoughts are leaving you tonight
im broken, abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
your an engel making all my dreams come true tonight
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
your beauty seems so far away
id have to write a thousand songs to make you
comprehend how beautiful you are
i know that i cant make you stay
but i would give my final breath to make you
see how beautiful you are.
undertsand how beautiful you are.
you call e a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thoughts are leaving you tonight
im broken,abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
you call me a stranger
well thats all, i have to go finish the dishes before mom gets mad! bye bye!
on the upside, i got a cell phone! tis wonderful. my dad has been texting me alot. im running low on minutes, but when ever i get some, it doubles! and then i got some of the twilight series. mom got me "breaking dawn" the last book of the series, but i realised, i already had that book on my shelf! but then she got me two thers from the series, "eclipse" the third book, and "new moon" the second. so now i have two of the same book, and the only one in the series that i dont have is the first book "twilight". other than that, i got a few harry potter games for my gameboy advance. no DS games this year.
at around seven oclock, me and my mom and my little brother had to drive on fewms all the way down to mancelona to go to the christmas party at my aunt mell's place. we just barely made it before the truck ran out of gas. my uncle bill syfined some gas into the truck so we could get home too.
but while we where there, quite a few things happened. me and torrie sung non-christmas-related song while colton jammed on his guitar. we where OUTSIDE for christams dinner. when torries boyfriend taylor showed up, the teens all went inside. colton and taylor jammed on there guitars while i messed with the piano. i joined them finally when they started to wrestle. taylor won the brawl...than colton decided he wanted to get his butt kicked by ME. i kicked him in the gut, face, and nuts before he finaly punched me in the chest and then tripped me...i pulled him down too by accident. and heres the thing...colton isnt axactly thin anymore....he's "fluffy". not fat, but not skinny.....and i accidentaly pulled him ON me. i got the wind knocked out of me! i now have a fair sized bruise on my side.
after all of that, we settled down and played vidio games while torrie and taylor started making out on the coutch. i got smoked by taylor at guitar hero, but hey, i havnt played in a while, and he's a REAL guitar player. so ofcourse i would lose.
i dicided a while ago that i would be cutting my hair and dying it blond. and i plan on doing it soon....before james gets bored and decides to dump me....mom doesnt think he will, but i havnt seen him in two weeks, how do i know he hasnt already lost his interest in me? all i can do it wait and see whats ahead when school starts up again...i cant wait until i am out of school, so i can find a more mature guy, someone who graduated a considerable amount of year before me.....maybe someone at least five years more experience that i have. but hey, i dont know, i might just end up with a guy who feels exactly like me, and then fall in love with him before getting to really know him. it wouldnt be good, but maybe i could start from scratch and have enough tallent to pull up a writing career and get a house for us to live in.......i would much rather have an experienced guy.
but anyway, today, i finished the book "eclipse" again. i love the twilight series, it never gets old.
but then mom decided that the house was too dirty to live in, and made me and river clean. im still not finished with the laundry or the dishis, wich is why i will be ending this post soon.
SONG OF THE DAY: secondhand serenade "stranger"
turn around,turn around and fix your
eys in my derection
so there is a connection
i cant speak, cant make a sound to capture
your attention
im starring at perfection
take a look at me
so you can see how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thought are
leaving you tonight
im broken,abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
im confident, ut i cant pretend i wasnt terrified to meet you.
i knew you could see right through me
i saw my life flash before my vary eyes
and i knew just what we'd turn into
i was hoping you could see
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thoughts are leaving you tonight
im broken, abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
your an engel making all my dreams come true tonight
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are
your beauty seems so far away
id have to write a thousand songs to make you
comprehend how beautiful you are
i know that i cant make you stay
but i would give my final breath to make you
see how beautiful you are.
undertsand how beautiful you are.
you call e a stranger
you say im a danger
but all those thoughts are leaving you tonight
im broken,abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you call me a stranger
you say im a danger
you call me a stranger
well thats all, i have to go finish the dishes before mom gets mad! bye bye!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
its 8:53 in the morning....
yeah, im awake. my stupid little brother wouldnt let me sleep in christmas eve morning....
i am officialy ungrounded today and tommorow. but after that, i will be grounded again, until i finish all the dirty laundry in the house.....
i swear there is somethin rong with me. i have been having dreams about my boyfriend....accurate dreams....vivid dreams....i need to lay off some of the tea ive been drinking....
like last night, i has a dream about french kissing him! i dont even really know if he likes french kissing! and then i had a dream he preposed to me....wich to be honest, scared the crap outta me. i aint ready for that shit....im 13 years old fro petesake...
i dont really know if he likes me enough to do any of that anyway...gee, isnt waking up in dinial great? whats worse, im scared to go to church now. what do i have to go for anyway? i dont do anything there....lost all my friends...i guess i might drop out of that....focus on other things for a while....srsly, im to the point to where im starting to think god wants be to lose all of the people that i really want to be with...i barely even see heidi anymore....and when she emails me, its really really short....at least she cares enough to say hi every once in a while...
i guess i woke up on the rong side of the bed. its christmas eve....i should be happy right?
i wonder what im getting. mom said everything is small, but expensive....and i have at least 11 things.....i wonder what it all is. its starting to really bug me. but i'll find out in the morning...
its gonna be so hard to get to sleep tonight....i have to help wrap my little brothers preasants....
well, i gotta go make my moms coffe. ttyl
i am officialy ungrounded today and tommorow. but after that, i will be grounded again, until i finish all the dirty laundry in the house.....
i swear there is somethin rong with me. i have been having dreams about my boyfriend....accurate dreams....vivid dreams....i need to lay off some of the tea ive been drinking....
like last night, i has a dream about french kissing him! i dont even really know if he likes french kissing! and then i had a dream he preposed to me....wich to be honest, scared the crap outta me. i aint ready for that shit....im 13 years old fro petesake...
i dont really know if he likes me enough to do any of that anyway...gee, isnt waking up in dinial great? whats worse, im scared to go to church now. what do i have to go for anyway? i dont do anything there....lost all my friends...i guess i might drop out of that....focus on other things for a while....srsly, im to the point to where im starting to think god wants be to lose all of the people that i really want to be with...i barely even see heidi anymore....and when she emails me, its really really short....at least she cares enough to say hi every once in a while...
i guess i woke up on the rong side of the bed. its christmas eve....i should be happy right?
i wonder what im getting. mom said everything is small, but expensive....and i have at least 11 things.....i wonder what it all is. its starting to really bug me. but i'll find out in the morning...
its gonna be so hard to get to sleep tonight....i have to help wrap my little brothers preasants....
well, i gotta go make my moms coffe. ttyl
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
oh im soo scared *heavy on the sarcasm*
yeah, thanx for the warning john. im being hunted by a 58 year-old-woman.
what the hell did i ever do to her anyway?.....
and no, i will not be bringing my bf to grace for church. it wouldnt be a wize idia. he is athiest. big time athiest. i think i should start out small. im trying to get him to go to my youth group at the bible baptist church here in central lake. i dont know if that will work though, but if i make a break through, and he starts feeling something, ill take him to grace for the adult survise, paster jenkins always has a nice survise. i wont be taking him to teen church, to many bad influences......ever since katlyn came back.....from rehab.....
hey john!!! your mom dont know what i look like right? should i die my hair blond???
but anyway, mom let me on the computer because i am watching my little brother river. my ex-step-dad andy got me this awesome twilight shirt for christmas. he let me open the preasent early because he was supposed to go to jail today. but he didnt. he just got probation for a year and a 1000 $ fine. DONT DO DRUGS!!!!
but yeah, i feel pretty guilty, if i didnt have such a damn bad mouth, mrs. pavlick wouldnt hate my guts. i can see it now.
im walking in to church. i sit in a spot and see her walking up looking around with her brown beaty eyes.....i get up and start to sprint to a safe place. but its to late, she saw me.
her: hey you! you talkin dirty to my son!? ill keeeeelllll you!!!!
me: sorry grama, im already dead!
i run out of church and steel a random car and then later get arrested for joyriding. no one beleives my story about getting chased by mrs pavlick.
srsly john, i has nothin against your mom, and i is really really really sorry for the way i talked to you. i would email this to you, but i dont want you to get in trouble.
BUT REMEMBER! do you want to do work for god? how are you going to do that, if the people who NEED help, your mom says you can hang with.
i mean srsly, i like, stopped smoking and drinking after i met you, i havnt picked up a cigerette in three months, and i didnt drink all that much before....so it was easy to quite that. AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!
remember that!!!!!!!
well anyway, back to my day.
today i baked brownies for my uncle bill. i also helped my little brother nake brownie snow cones for my cousin scooter. mom made some awesome hot pepper bombs for my cousn colton.
uncle bill hast told me what he's making for me, but i cant wait to find out.
ill be giving my boyfriend a kiss for christmas, and then i might get my ears pearced and wear his earings.
he is a really sweet guy when you get to know him......exept when it comes to porn......i like, was looking through his CD's, he's got one with a naked chick on it.....
but the good news is he thinks blow jobs are nasty!!!! [i can change that.]
not much else happened today, so ill just post a link to my buddy lee's blog.
WARNING: lee is in fact gay...ish. he still likes girls, but he likes guys more
http://leeplitt.blogspot.com/
i dont really want to post a song of the day. but i am listening to Good Charlotte " i dont wanna be in love." its really good.
bye bye!!!!
what the hell did i ever do to her anyway?.....
and no, i will not be bringing my bf to grace for church. it wouldnt be a wize idia. he is athiest. big time athiest. i think i should start out small. im trying to get him to go to my youth group at the bible baptist church here in central lake. i dont know if that will work though, but if i make a break through, and he starts feeling something, ill take him to grace for the adult survise, paster jenkins always has a nice survise. i wont be taking him to teen church, to many bad influences......ever since katlyn came back.....from rehab.....
hey john!!! your mom dont know what i look like right? should i die my hair blond???
but anyway, mom let me on the computer because i am watching my little brother river. my ex-step-dad andy got me this awesome twilight shirt for christmas. he let me open the preasent early because he was supposed to go to jail today. but he didnt. he just got probation for a year and a 1000 $ fine. DONT DO DRUGS!!!!
but yeah, i feel pretty guilty, if i didnt have such a damn bad mouth, mrs. pavlick wouldnt hate my guts. i can see it now.
im walking in to church. i sit in a spot and see her walking up looking around with her brown beaty eyes.....i get up and start to sprint to a safe place. but its to late, she saw me.
her: hey you! you talkin dirty to my son!? ill keeeeelllll you!!!!
me: sorry grama, im already dead!
i run out of church and steel a random car and then later get arrested for joyriding. no one beleives my story about getting chased by mrs pavlick.
srsly john, i has nothin against your mom, and i is really really really sorry for the way i talked to you. i would email this to you, but i dont want you to get in trouble.
BUT REMEMBER! do you want to do work for god? how are you going to do that, if the people who NEED help, your mom says you can hang with.
i mean srsly, i like, stopped smoking and drinking after i met you, i havnt picked up a cigerette in three months, and i didnt drink all that much before....so it was easy to quite that. AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!
remember that!!!!!!!
well anyway, back to my day.
today i baked brownies for my uncle bill. i also helped my little brother nake brownie snow cones for my cousin scooter. mom made some awesome hot pepper bombs for my cousn colton.
uncle bill hast told me what he's making for me, but i cant wait to find out.
ill be giving my boyfriend a kiss for christmas, and then i might get my ears pearced and wear his earings.
he is a really sweet guy when you get to know him......exept when it comes to porn......i like, was looking through his CD's, he's got one with a naked chick on it.....
but the good news is he thinks blow jobs are nasty!!!! [i can change that.]
not much else happened today, so ill just post a link to my buddy lee's blog.
WARNING: lee is in fact gay...ish. he still likes girls, but he likes guys more
http://leeplitt.blogspot.com/
i dont really want to post a song of the day. but i am listening to Good Charlotte " i dont wanna be in love." its really good.
bye bye!!!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Grounded....
okay, while john has lynn to occupy him, and lee went to his families place for christmas, i am grounded for getting bad grades. why am i on now you ask? because i did a butt load of laundry and cooked some venicin stew, mom is letting me check my email and update my blog.
its nice to know i was missed in the last two weeks....YOU ALL SUCK DONKY BALLS!!!!
i will now fully introduce my boyfriend. his name is james castle. yes, i have a brother and a brother-in-law named james, and my moms ex's name is james, but this guy is alot different.
he's 14 years old. he's 5,7. he's got really pale skin, bright blue eyes, dark brown hair with nateral red highlights. he is like, anerexic skinny.....but he eats like a frickin pig.
he's really funny, and doesnt really have alot of friends...but thats probably because he's offensive to alot of people. like, he ran down one of the halls at school and stopped, pointed at a random girl, and shouted "you owe me your life, i just saved you!" and then ran back over to me and gave me this huge hug. everyone started to giggle, he turned around and started chasing them while saying " im going to keeeeeeellll you!!!!!" and then he ran out of site.
then he went home sick one day, and i found out later that his heart failed, and he almost died. just my luck right? because the day that he had his heart failure, he kissed me. everyone said it was my fault.....
anyway, he made me these awesome gold plated crystal earings and gave them to me, along with another kiss.
hey john, youll be happy to know that your remationship with lynn has shocked me quite a bot, and i am over you. you are simply my big brother now, just like you should have been from the start.
despite the weirdness, and unpopularity of my boyfriend, i really have developed this adiction to him. he likes everything i like....he's funny. tall, and....well...not really all that smart when it comes to school....he should be in 9th grade, but he's still in 8th...
and everyone keeps saying im crazy for dating him....maybe i just have really bad taste in guys, but if i dont date the guy, who will? he is really sweet when it comes to me. i told him i hated snow, and winter, he said he was going to throw me into a snowbank! isnt he just wonderful?!
he gave me his camera and told me to take pics of myself and give it to him. but then he went home sick again and i havnt seen him since.
on friday, mica and anthony took advantage of his absence and started making fun of me. they called james names and said he needed to go to a mentle hospital, and that i needed to because i was dating him. and then they went on and on about my "ishues". and to top it off, mica called me ugly. that hurt, i know i dont exactly look beautiful, but i dont look that bad do i?
i ended up calling him a damn miget, and then walking away. i ended up crying in a bathroom courner....
but srsly, mica is 15 years old, in 8th grade, and he's a foot shorter than i am! he says i have problems....
yeah, and christmas brake started, and i wont get to see james for another two weeks!!!
its gonna be the longest two weeks ever!!!! i miss him so much.....
once again, i think i have bad taste in guys when it comes to looks [exept you john!] but i think ill end up puting a pic of james on in the future.
SONG OF THE DAY: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE "CANCER"
turn away
if you could get me a drink of water
cos my lips are chapped and faded
call my aunt merie
help her gather all my things
and burry me in all my favorite colors
my sisters and my brothers still
i will not kiss you
cos the hardest part of this
is leavin you
turn away
cos im awefull just to see
all my hairs abandend all my body
oh my agony
know that ill never marry
baby im just soggy from the chemo
im counting down the days to go
it just aint livin
and i just hope you know
that if you say goodbye today
ill ask you to be true
cos the hardest part of this
is leavin you
yeah the hardest part of this is leavin you
its nice to know i was missed in the last two weeks....YOU ALL SUCK DONKY BALLS!!!!
i will now fully introduce my boyfriend. his name is james castle. yes, i have a brother and a brother-in-law named james, and my moms ex's name is james, but this guy is alot different.
he's 14 years old. he's 5,7. he's got really pale skin, bright blue eyes, dark brown hair with nateral red highlights. he is like, anerexic skinny.....but he eats like a frickin pig.
he's really funny, and doesnt really have alot of friends...but thats probably because he's offensive to alot of people. like, he ran down one of the halls at school and stopped, pointed at a random girl, and shouted "you owe me your life, i just saved you!" and then ran back over to me and gave me this huge hug. everyone started to giggle, he turned around and started chasing them while saying " im going to keeeeeeellll you!!!!!" and then he ran out of site.
then he went home sick one day, and i found out later that his heart failed, and he almost died. just my luck right? because the day that he had his heart failure, he kissed me. everyone said it was my fault.....
anyway, he made me these awesome gold plated crystal earings and gave them to me, along with another kiss.
hey john, youll be happy to know that your remationship with lynn has shocked me quite a bot, and i am over you. you are simply my big brother now, just like you should have been from the start.
despite the weirdness, and unpopularity of my boyfriend, i really have developed this adiction to him. he likes everything i like....he's funny. tall, and....well...not really all that smart when it comes to school....he should be in 9th grade, but he's still in 8th...
and everyone keeps saying im crazy for dating him....maybe i just have really bad taste in guys, but if i dont date the guy, who will? he is really sweet when it comes to me. i told him i hated snow, and winter, he said he was going to throw me into a snowbank! isnt he just wonderful?!
he gave me his camera and told me to take pics of myself and give it to him. but then he went home sick again and i havnt seen him since.
on friday, mica and anthony took advantage of his absence and started making fun of me. they called james names and said he needed to go to a mentle hospital, and that i needed to because i was dating him. and then they went on and on about my "ishues". and to top it off, mica called me ugly. that hurt, i know i dont exactly look beautiful, but i dont look that bad do i?
i ended up calling him a damn miget, and then walking away. i ended up crying in a bathroom courner....
but srsly, mica is 15 years old, in 8th grade, and he's a foot shorter than i am! he says i have problems....
yeah, and christmas brake started, and i wont get to see james for another two weeks!!!
its gonna be the longest two weeks ever!!!! i miss him so much.....
once again, i think i have bad taste in guys when it comes to looks [exept you john!] but i think ill end up puting a pic of james on in the future.
SONG OF THE DAY: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE "CANCER"
turn away
if you could get me a drink of water
cos my lips are chapped and faded
call my aunt merie
help her gather all my things
and burry me in all my favorite colors
my sisters and my brothers still
i will not kiss you
cos the hardest part of this
is leavin you
turn away
cos im awefull just to see
all my hairs abandend all my body
oh my agony
know that ill never marry
baby im just soggy from the chemo
im counting down the days to go
it just aint livin
and i just hope you know
that if you say goodbye today
ill ask you to be true
cos the hardest part of this
is leavin you
yeah the hardest part of this is leavin you
Thursday, December 11, 2008
the gayness of today
several weird/funny things happened to me today.
my boyfriend was at school this morning. i gave him a hug, and then later found out that he went home sick. im hoping i wont catch what he had....
after school i went to my piano lessons. it turned out that my aunt nessa [ the janitor is my aunt]
was making some guy who got detention do some work around the school. this guy was hot!!!
he was like, 17 years old. he was at leat 6,4. and omg he had a nice ass!!!
but anyway, after all that, i decorated my aunt nessas janitor closet dore with decorations.
she really lied them.
and then after that, i went home and took a long shower. then my friend sammy called and asked if i could go to the dance tommorow. mom said yes, and i will be going to dance with sammy's friend aurora who really wants to date me even though she is a girl......
then i got online and went to gmail and started to talk to lee. he is ubsessed with edward cullen from twilight. and i have been making up yaoi scenes for him ever since!
but yeah, lee is making a blog and he will send me a link momentarily.
but yeah, i also found a bunch of awesomely creepy pics......
but anyway, i must leave now! i will post again soon!!!
HEY JOHN! THAT GUY WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND H WAS TALLER!!!!
but not quite as hot as you!
my boyfriend was at school this morning. i gave him a hug, and then later found out that he went home sick. im hoping i wont catch what he had....
after school i went to my piano lessons. it turned out that my aunt nessa [ the janitor is my aunt]
was making some guy who got detention do some work around the school. this guy was hot!!!
he was like, 17 years old. he was at leat 6,4. and omg he had a nice ass!!!
but anyway, after all that, i decorated my aunt nessas janitor closet dore with decorations.
she really lied them.
and then after that, i went home and took a long shower. then my friend sammy called and asked if i could go to the dance tommorow. mom said yes, and i will be going to dance with sammy's friend aurora who really wants to date me even though she is a girl......
then i got online and went to gmail and started to talk to lee. he is ubsessed with edward cullen from twilight. and i have been making up yaoi scenes for him ever since!
but yeah, lee is making a blog and he will send me a link momentarily.
but yeah, i also found a bunch of awesomely creepy pics......
but anyway, i must leave now! i will post again soon!!!
HEY JOHN! THAT GUY WAS YOUNGER THAN YOU AND H WAS TALLER!!!!
but not quite as hot as you!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
a long day...
well yeah, today was weird in many ways. i was bumbed that my guy wasnt at school today.
and since he wasnt there, everyone started to pick on me. okay you see, i might think he's cute, but not everyone else does.....okay no one does. apperintly he's "trailor trash" and "the crazy guy" or someone actually had the nerve to call him "shit for brains"...!!!
okay! so he isnt afraid to be blunt! but he's really really nice! [to me]
on the other hand, today was a mess because my friend kayla just found out that her enemy linsday is going after her boyfriend, wich is my cousin colton. they wher fighting over him like rabbid dogs!!!
kayla even made me go to night church to spy on them! it was frusterating....i cant stand a girl who would just walk in on someone elses man like that! [hey john, thats why i keep my distance from you now days.] i really hate the confuesion of it all. bare with me here.
how would it feel to you if you walked over to find your man/woman talking to anothether, really attractive guy/girl??? youd get alittle aprehensive right? you'd be like "is he/she cheating on me!?" and then feelings would be hurt and all that crap...i just wish some people would understand that a relationship isnt something to walk in on uninvited. how would you like it if you felt like you where madly in love, and then some other guy/girl interfered and stole everything that you worked so hard to get? it would hurt. [unless you wher already cheating.]
anyway....
phrase of advise: DONT CHEAT!!! CHEATING IS FOR LOWSY BASTARDS WHO CANT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER!!!
lyric of the moment: hellogoodbye "here in your arms" [this is techno, it was hard to catch all the jumbled words, but i did my best.]
i like where we are
when we drive in your car
i like where we are
here
cos are lips can touch
and our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch
here
here you are the one that only lies close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else
i could be here in your arms.
i like where you sleep
when you sleep next to me
i like where you sleep
here
cos out lips can touch
our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch
here
where you are the one that only lies close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love in love with you suddenly
theres no one else
i could be here in your arms...
our lips can touch....
our lips ca touch here....
where you are the only one who lies close to me
whispers hello i missed you quite terribly
i fell in love with you suddenly
theres no place else i could be...
here in your arms...
here in your arms.
and since he wasnt there, everyone started to pick on me. okay you see, i might think he's cute, but not everyone else does.....okay no one does. apperintly he's "trailor trash" and "the crazy guy" or someone actually had the nerve to call him "shit for brains"...!!!
okay! so he isnt afraid to be blunt! but he's really really nice! [to me]
on the other hand, today was a mess because my friend kayla just found out that her enemy linsday is going after her boyfriend, wich is my cousin colton. they wher fighting over him like rabbid dogs!!!
kayla even made me go to night church to spy on them! it was frusterating....i cant stand a girl who would just walk in on someone elses man like that! [hey john, thats why i keep my distance from you now days.] i really hate the confuesion of it all. bare with me here.
how would it feel to you if you walked over to find your man/woman talking to anothether, really attractive guy/girl??? youd get alittle aprehensive right? you'd be like "is he/she cheating on me!?" and then feelings would be hurt and all that crap...i just wish some people would understand that a relationship isnt something to walk in on uninvited. how would you like it if you felt like you where madly in love, and then some other guy/girl interfered and stole everything that you worked so hard to get? it would hurt. [unless you wher already cheating.]
anyway....
phrase of advise: DONT CHEAT!!! CHEATING IS FOR LOWSY BASTARDS WHO CANT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER!!!
lyric of the moment: hellogoodbye "here in your arms" [this is techno, it was hard to catch all the jumbled words, but i did my best.]
i like where we are
when we drive in your car
i like where we are
here
cos are lips can touch
and our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch
here
here you are the one that only lies close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else
i could be here in your arms.
i like where you sleep
when you sleep next to me
i like where you sleep
here
cos out lips can touch
our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch
here
where you are the one that only lies close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love in love with you suddenly
theres no one else
i could be here in your arms...
our lips can touch....
our lips ca touch here....
where you are the only one who lies close to me
whispers hello i missed you quite terribly
i fell in love with you suddenly
theres no place else i could be...
here in your arms...
here in your arms.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
i have had soooo much fun today! my boyfriend is the sweetest guy ever! he like, tried to sneak into my classes with me, ansd he sat with me at lunch. he played with me at recess, and he gave me a hug after school before he left.
the only down side to it all is that he got suspended for being late to all of his classes....that might be my fault though....
when i got home, i installed this awesome wordperfect thing, it will help line up my stories and get them ready for printing. but i wont be using the spell checker because i promised johnny boy that id let him proof read! [love you big brother!!!]
and if anyone knows me personally, my spelling SUCKS! but yeah.....anyway....
word of advise: when your dating someone and you shar your first kiss together, rememeber, brush your teeth, pop in some mint gum, and ask before you add tongue!!!
[ it was quite embarrising when my ex boyfriend tried to french kiss me and i broke the kiss EMEDIATLY!]
I AM SORRY I DONT HAVE A RIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!
lyric of the moment:
secondhand serenade "fall for you"
the best thing about tonights that were not fighting
could it be that we have been this way before?
i know you dont think that im trying
i know your wearing thin down to the core
but hold your breath
because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find
this is not what i intended
i always swore to you id never fall apart
you always thought i was stronger
i mighthave failed
but i have loved you from the start
but hold your breath
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find
breathe in so deep
breathe me in
cards to keep
hold on to your words
talk is cheap
remember me tonight
in your sleep
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find.
the only down side to it all is that he got suspended for being late to all of his classes....that might be my fault though....
when i got home, i installed this awesome wordperfect thing, it will help line up my stories and get them ready for printing. but i wont be using the spell checker because i promised johnny boy that id let him proof read! [love you big brother!!!]
and if anyone knows me personally, my spelling SUCKS! but yeah.....anyway....
word of advise: when your dating someone and you shar your first kiss together, rememeber, brush your teeth, pop in some mint gum, and ask before you add tongue!!!
[ it was quite embarrising when my ex boyfriend tried to french kiss me and i broke the kiss EMEDIATLY!]
I AM SORRY I DONT HAVE A RIDDLE OF THE DAY!!!
lyric of the moment:
secondhand serenade "fall for you"
the best thing about tonights that were not fighting
could it be that we have been this way before?
i know you dont think that im trying
i know your wearing thin down to the core
but hold your breath
because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find
this is not what i intended
i always swore to you id never fall apart
you always thought i was stronger
i mighthave failed
but i have loved you from the start
but hold your breath
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find
breathe in so deep
breathe me in
cards to keep
hold on to your words
talk is cheap
remember me tonight
in your sleep
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again
dont make me change my mind
i wont live to see another day i swear its true
because a girl like you is impossible to find
your impossible to find.
Monday, December 8, 2008
somethin good about today
okay, today has been pretty hectick. lots of things happened at one time.
but on the upside, i dont have to look for a boy friend anymore. i got one...and he's H-O-T-hot!
yeah, he's sweet too. i actually look forward to school now. but yeah, the downside to today is that im tottaly ticked at one of my friends that i thought was a good friend...im not gonna say what he did though. it hurts to just talk about it. but yeah, i have a mix of emotions today, ranging from peaceful, lovely, and sad. without further adu....
phrase of advice: dont dwell in the past, work hard to make a better future.
riddle of the day: what has eight legs and sucks the blood out of things?
possible answers:
a spider
an octipuss
or a vampire with a deformation
lyric of the moment:
AFI Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
this is what i brought you this you can keep
this is what i brought you may forget me
i promised you my heart
just promise one thing
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
this is what i brought you this you can keep
this is what i brought you may forget me
i promised you my heart
just promise to sing
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
this is what i thought
i thought youd need me
this is what i thought
so think me nieve
i promised you my heart
youd promised youd keep
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep...
but on the upside, i dont have to look for a boy friend anymore. i got one...and he's H-O-T-hot!
yeah, he's sweet too. i actually look forward to school now. but yeah, the downside to today is that im tottaly ticked at one of my friends that i thought was a good friend...im not gonna say what he did though. it hurts to just talk about it. but yeah, i have a mix of emotions today, ranging from peaceful, lovely, and sad. without further adu....
phrase of advice: dont dwell in the past, work hard to make a better future.
riddle of the day: what has eight legs and sucks the blood out of things?
possible answers:
a spider
an octipuss
or a vampire with a deformation
lyric of the moment:
AFI Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.
this is what i brought you this you can keep
this is what i brought you may forget me
i promised you my heart
just promise one thing
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
this is what i brought you this you can keep
this is what i brought you may forget me
i promised you my heart
just promise to sing
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
this is what i thought
i thought youd need me
this is what i thought
so think me nieve
i promised you my heart
youd promised youd keep
kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep...
Saturday, December 6, 2008
catistrophic brainblast
omg! i got a frickin brilliant plan for my blog to make it more interesting! i was like, reading the book brisingr. it is the last in the erigon series. [book four hasnt come out yet] but then i like, randomly thought about my blog and things i could do to improve on it. so, i have come to the conclusion that i will now be putting in a riddle of the day, a lyric of the moment, and a phrase of advise. and then there will be, ofcourse, my regular posting from my day. but that will come last.
the riddle of the day is:
i am colored in red and blue and every color of the rainbow. i am long and short,thick and thin, and i often rest coiled up. i can eat a hundren sheep in a row and still be hungry. what am i?
possible answers:
a dragon.
and aligator.
a woolen rug.
or a lion.
a phrase of advise:
those who rely stricktly on their physical abilities fall short to the minds of those around them, for if they arnt smart, then they are worthless, as they can be deceived and lead to their death of their own accord, and not know it untill they pass into the void.
be smart and only trust to a certain degree, only a fool will trust a stranger.
-ME!!!~ [yes, this advise came from the top of my head!]
lyric of the moment: [i have random emotions that i always seem to have a song for. i find his useful. say if i am feeling sad or deoressed, i put on a song to match my feelings, and i end up feeling better.]
Do you have the time: by: Green Day
Do you have the time
to listen to me wine
about nothing and everything all at once
I am one of those melodramatic fools
neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up,
I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
I went to a shrink to analyse my dreams
she says it´s lack of sex that´s bringing me down
I went to a whore, she said my life´s a bore
and quit whining cause it´s bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up,
I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
Grasping to control, so you better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up, I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
okay, that song came from my emotions, as i am feeling quite energetic right now. i think i might have scared poor pat. he is my buss captain, and he and matt came over today and started to shuvel my porch. my enthusiasm seemed to scare poor pat, as he started to throw snow balls at me...
alas, my time has come, i shall begin to listen to john song "falling in love on accident." i have faith that it is going to be a great work of art, as i have not listened to it yet, but i am about to.
the riddle of the day is:
i am colored in red and blue and every color of the rainbow. i am long and short,thick and thin, and i often rest coiled up. i can eat a hundren sheep in a row and still be hungry. what am i?
possible answers:
a dragon.
and aligator.
a woolen rug.
or a lion.
a phrase of advise:
those who rely stricktly on their physical abilities fall short to the minds of those around them, for if they arnt smart, then they are worthless, as they can be deceived and lead to their death of their own accord, and not know it untill they pass into the void.
be smart and only trust to a certain degree, only a fool will trust a stranger.
-ME!!!~ [yes, this advise came from the top of my head!]
lyric of the moment: [i have random emotions that i always seem to have a song for. i find his useful. say if i am feeling sad or deoressed, i put on a song to match my feelings, and i end up feeling better.]
Do you have the time: by: Green Day
Do you have the time
to listen to me wine
about nothing and everything all at once
I am one of those melodramatic fools
neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up,
I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
I went to a shrink to analyse my dreams
she says it´s lack of sex that´s bringing me down
I went to a whore, she said my life´s a bore
and quit whining cause it´s bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up,
I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
Grasping to control, so you better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up, I think I´m cracking up
Am I just paranoid ? I´m just stoned
okay, that song came from my emotions, as i am feeling quite energetic right now. i think i might have scared poor pat. he is my buss captain, and he and matt came over today and started to shuvel my porch. my enthusiasm seemed to scare poor pat, as he started to throw snow balls at me...
alas, my time has come, i shall begin to listen to john song "falling in love on accident." i have faith that it is going to be a great work of art, as i have not listened to it yet, but i am about to.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
the hunt is on
okay, this is gonna be weird. but yeah, me and my friend felisha are gonna be hunting for a boyfriend for me. she was absalutely scared that my prediction for the day was that i would die alone with my 9 cats...
and then i had this dream! it was like takin a trip on a heroine rolercoster...
i was like, laying on my couch with some guy. i dont know who it was, but he was cute! anyway we where just laying there on the coutch watchin a movie together.
it was like, my ideal date thing. but yeah, i want that dream to come treu really bad now.
isnt that weird?
but hey, i found a new song on my cousin torries CD. its called Shine. its by the Plain White T's.
its amazing. but i still think that secondhand serenade is better.
You know it tears me up inside to see the feelings that you hide Hide
inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way
Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today
There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way
Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today
There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid,
don't hide
Let it shine...let it shine
You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do
now the rest is up to you
youll keep on running untile you learn to deal with today
isnt it great!? i has to go now byes!
and then i had this dream! it was like takin a trip on a heroine rolercoster...
i was like, laying on my couch with some guy. i dont know who it was, but he was cute! anyway we where just laying there on the coutch watchin a movie together.
it was like, my ideal date thing. but yeah, i want that dream to come treu really bad now.
isnt that weird?
but hey, i found a new song on my cousin torries CD. its called Shine. its by the Plain White T's.
its amazing. but i still think that secondhand serenade is better.
You know it tears me up inside to see the feelings that you hide Hide
inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way
Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today
There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way
Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make tomorrow harder to live than today
There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid,
don't hide
Let it shine...let it shine
You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do
now the rest is up to you
youll keep on running untile you learn to deal with today
isnt it great!? i has to go now byes!
Monday, December 1, 2008
the truest song ever
the best song ever is vulnerable, by secondhand serinade. thay make the best songs ever. and it is 11:01 right now. my day has been stupid. i spent it in depression. i cried for about an hour. my moms ex boyfriend came over to visit my little brother. and my mom's birthday is coming up soon. i dont have a date for my dance on saterday. christmas is coming up and i dont really want much. i have givin up my dreams.
all of this crap has happened today. but on the up side. i got to talk to heidi for a minute or two.
yeah, but when things go rong, it helps to have a song that discribes the way you want things to go. the way your life is now. and a song for your happy ending.
share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
couse its cold outside, its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
couse its cold inside, its cold inside
and your slowly shaking fingertips
show me that your scared like me
so lets pretend we're alone
and i know you may be scared
and i know we're unprepared
but i dont care
tell me tell me what makes you think your invincable
i can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please dont tell me that im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
i was born to tell you that i love you
but isnt that a song already?
i get a B for originality
and its true i cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if only you could see in the mirror what i see
and your slowly shaking fingertips
show me that your scared like me
so lets pretend we're alone
and i know you may be scared
and i know we're unprepared
but i dont care
tell me tell me
what makes you think your invincable
i can see it in your eyes
your so sure
please dont tell me im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need
tell me tell me
what makes you think you are invincable
i can see it in your eyes
please dont tell me that im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
isnt it a freaking greate song!? btw the only reasone im still awake is that i drank a can of rockstar!
i has school in the morning too....
oh well. i guess the lord spoke to me today. because, after all that happened, i got the urge to read my bible.
well ill post tommorow
all of this crap has happened today. but on the up side. i got to talk to heidi for a minute or two.
yeah, but when things go rong, it helps to have a song that discribes the way you want things to go. the way your life is now. and a song for your happy ending.
share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
couse its cold outside, its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
couse its cold inside, its cold inside
and your slowly shaking fingertips
show me that your scared like me
so lets pretend we're alone
and i know you may be scared
and i know we're unprepared
but i dont care
tell me tell me what makes you think your invincable
i can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please dont tell me that im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
i was born to tell you that i love you
but isnt that a song already?
i get a B for originality
and its true i cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if only you could see in the mirror what i see
and your slowly shaking fingertips
show me that your scared like me
so lets pretend we're alone
and i know you may be scared
and i know we're unprepared
but i dont care
tell me tell me
what makes you think your invincable
i can see it in your eyes
your so sure
please dont tell me im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need
tell me tell me
what makes you think you are invincable
i can see it in your eyes
please dont tell me that im the only one thats vulnerable
impossible
isnt it a freaking greate song!? btw the only reasone im still awake is that i drank a can of rockstar!
i has school in the morning too....
oh well. i guess the lord spoke to me today. because, after all that happened, i got the urge to read my bible.
well ill post tommorow
an off day
yes, today has been vary weird so far. if you know me well, you will know that i HATE snow.
i hate everything cold. yes, even ice cream. i like warm things.
well guess what! it snowed! alot! and guess who's turn it is to shuvel the porch! right! mine!
school was canceled today. that gives me time to try and get my stupid camera to work. the pictures refuse to dowload to the computer...so i cant get any new pictures to my friends and family. today isnt my day. and its only 11:28 AM!
but the good news is that i am no longer evil.
the dog is fine and my little brother still has all his limbs. and me and mom seem to be getting off fine. the only problem right now is that i cant find a proper shirt...
yeah, and im busy making a chistmas list. so far i have. A new DS touch screen [mine broke T-T]
my chemical romance CD. new art suplies. and a cure for writers block! i might even want a new manga to read...but i live all the way out to central lake...i cant get to wall mart in gaylord...
if only i had a good friend that would take pitty on me....
but yeah, i will no longer be striving for my goal to be an author or a manga-ka. it seems pointless. lots of people want to be the same thing, so what are my chances of getting past the compotision. my own father told me i wouldnt make it! and there isnt any hope of me going to collage to even up the odds. my family isnt wealthy enough to even get me into a christain collage...and my grades suck, they always have.
yeah...ill still write and draw for fun, but it seems i have no particular tallent. im just another seemingly suicidal teen [im not suicidal, i said seemingly!] that will most likely get pregnant at a young age and end up a house wife. wich, as long as i have a good husband, i will be happy.
i hate everything cold. yes, even ice cream. i like warm things.
well guess what! it snowed! alot! and guess who's turn it is to shuvel the porch! right! mine!
school was canceled today. that gives me time to try and get my stupid camera to work. the pictures refuse to dowload to the computer...so i cant get any new pictures to my friends and family. today isnt my day. and its only 11:28 AM!
but the good news is that i am no longer evil.
the dog is fine and my little brother still has all his limbs. and me and mom seem to be getting off fine. the only problem right now is that i cant find a proper shirt...
yeah, and im busy making a chistmas list. so far i have. A new DS touch screen [mine broke T-T]
my chemical romance CD. new art suplies. and a cure for writers block! i might even want a new manga to read...but i live all the way out to central lake...i cant get to wall mart in gaylord...
if only i had a good friend that would take pitty on me....
but yeah, i will no longer be striving for my goal to be an author or a manga-ka. it seems pointless. lots of people want to be the same thing, so what are my chances of getting past the compotision. my own father told me i wouldnt make it! and there isnt any hope of me going to collage to even up the odds. my family isnt wealthy enough to even get me into a christain collage...and my grades suck, they always have.
yeah...ill still write and draw for fun, but it seems i have no particular tallent. im just another seemingly suicidal teen [im not suicidal, i said seemingly!] that will most likely get pregnant at a young age and end up a house wife. wich, as long as i have a good husband, i will be happy.
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