first in a long time

Some things have happened to me in the past four months, since i met the man i love in late june. It started with a trip to the library. He saw me, and i looked right through him like he wasnt even there. Whenever he saw me in town from then on he whistled, yelled, and then went to run and hide whenever i looked toward him, until one day i followed the noise...

I met Patrick Michael Paquette at the park where he was sitting with a friend smoking a cigerette. I didnt really give him much attention, but i knew he was looking at me. So i went over and started to talk to the guy he was sitting with, whom i knew already to be Chriss Douglas.

I sat next to patrick, and grinned when i felt him tense by my side, and i turned and smiled at him, and i earned a very nervouse smile from him, and then i made a comment about the table we were sitting on. We talked about the table for the next five minutes before his friend Ty appeared. I didnt like him. I hung out with the group of people, just because i was starting to feel like i maybe liked to talk to this new and interesting person.

Right now i cant stand to look at the table we had first met on. It makes me cry when i look at a spot that has so many memories tied to it, and to know that there wont be any new ones being made.

July 6th 2009, two weeks after we met, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and for two months after that, we had an amazing time, seeing eachother every day, growing closer and closer. Until mom found out we were having sex.

Im not aloud to see him outside of my home anymore. And as you can imagin a boy doesnt just want to sit down in his girlfriend house and kiss her all the time. Its boring. So we grew apart. ve tried to end things with him, but we just arent ready to let go of eachother.

Im growing more depressed the longer he is away, and im sure he is losing interest. I just wish God would answer the prayer i have been praying for the last month now, and help our relationship. I gave everything to Patrick. I want him to be the one i stay with.

Please dear readers. Pray for me and patrick. Pray that our relationship survives and gets better. My voice is getting tired of asking each night. My eyes hurt from crying. I want to be happy again. Help me.

Thank you very much. Talk to you later.