my life for the last three days has been hell,life, and death all at the same time. it kills me to be so far away from john. . .but i do beleive that the guy i like in school likes me too! i have been called a living sex toy at school, and kicked many boys in the balls for it. i am not a wonton. [if people even use that term anymore.] and my bestest buddy/cousin kayla decided to do my math homework for me. i am happy because she is a genius, and i prolly got an A. . .
my boyfriedn started humping lockers and pop machines. . .george went to a band festival along with half of the class. i spent an hour outside raking for science class, then went inside second hour and typed a fanfic for the breadwinner. such a good book. . .
my mom had another abnormal papsmeire[sp???] last time that happened, she had servical cancer. she doesnt have a servix or whatever anymore, so she cant have cancer. . . i really dont know what to make of anything. its bad enough that my mom's internet boyfriend wants her to get on a plain over to carolina and go skydiving, scoobadiving, and sailing across the ocean. hell, she wont even get on a boat or a plain!
and i have been on the internet. twitter mostly. its quick and easy, and im starting to get some of my friends at school into it too.
i have been looking up loads of saosin and weird al. just some funny and meaningfu songs about not being alone, and how the back street boys are all gay.
and whenever i go into my room, i always get this urge to play on my piano. it isnt in key im afraid, but its still fun to make music on it. i have been drawing a hole lot better lately too. i guess i have a new insperation for gory art. bleeding and crying people with their hands chained to walls. . .it lookes like they were in a saw movie. . .
my chihuahua is starring at me like i am a freak, so i guess i should go now.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
a song to describe
i have a song for my big brother john pavlick. it might not describe everything, but it is close to what i want to say.
Green day. "time of your life"
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
have a good life john, come and visit, and dont forget your scatter brained little sister from central lake. im glad your making it somewhere in your life. you might be moving away from your friends and your mother, but your walking intoa new chapter of life. your still young, so please make the best of the life you have ahead of you, and dont forget the previouse chapters. say hello to your big bro for me. i dont know the guy, but just say it anyways.
and email me you niglecting son of a bitch! [no i was not insulting your mother.] do you know what it does to me when you dont email me? i think your forgetting me! and i dont want to be forgotten by the only big brother that has ever treated me right!
send me emails with pics and music and whatever other junk you want. if you ever need to talk, im here, just like every other one of your friends. i can do anything that they can. including play the guitar,piano, write manga and books, draw awesome pics and everything! and i promise i might let you see whats becoming of me in pics too. make your life john, dont break it at a hot dog stand or a mcdonalds. . .that might make you fat. naahh, never mind. you move around too much to get fat.
Green day. "time of your life"
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
have a good life john, come and visit, and dont forget your scatter brained little sister from central lake. im glad your making it somewhere in your life. you might be moving away from your friends and your mother, but your walking intoa new chapter of life. your still young, so please make the best of the life you have ahead of you, and dont forget the previouse chapters. say hello to your big bro for me. i dont know the guy, but just say it anyways.
and email me you niglecting son of a bitch! [no i was not insulting your mother.] do you know what it does to me when you dont email me? i think your forgetting me! and i dont want to be forgotten by the only big brother that has ever treated me right!
send me emails with pics and music and whatever other junk you want. if you ever need to talk, im here, just like every other one of your friends. i can do anything that they can. including play the guitar,piano, write manga and books, draw awesome pics and everything! and i promise i might let you see whats becoming of me in pics too. make your life john, dont break it at a hot dog stand or a mcdonalds. . .that might make you fat. naahh, never mind. you move around too much to get fat.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
confusion
i have never felt like i neaded to talk to john more than right now. my uncle just popped by, and i felt very uncomfortable. i didnt get much done around the house, and i couldnt use my little brother as an excuse to get him out. i dont mind my uncle-when he's being appropriate.
but he almost crossed my imaginary line. seriously.
but he almost crossed my imaginary line. seriously.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Multi-subjective
not sure that multi-subjective is even a word, but alot has been going on, and not much has been happining.
i have devoted myself to praying for johns job so that he wont leave me AND NEVER COME BACK. . . .and i have a new love interest. . .besides the two people im dating. . .i know, im really bad, but i didnt have time to tell the other guy that i wanted to break up with him for this other guy, so next time i talk to him, i have to tell him, because its bad to cheat!
i finished a ass load of books last week, six of them total. nora roberts circle trilogy and maggie shayne's vampire series. each series has three books. img oing back to the library to drop them off and get me and my mother some new books. and i am writing ANOTHER story. its called the night society. its really cool so far, i have 40 pages. and since john is busy and he might be moving away. . .[god forbid he leave me. . .] he wont be being my editor like he promised a LONG time ago. . .lol, the memories. . .
and as for my new love interest, his name is george thayer. he's a tall blue eyed blond. he is skinny and moscular at the same time because he halls wood. and he is just as smart as me [better in math] and he loves to read. i sit next to him in english an geography. we both are almost finished with our reading anigment that we started today. its a book called the breadwinner. its about this girl from afghanistan that has to dress like a boy because women arent aloud to be seen in that country because of the rules that the taliban made up. her father was arrested, so she has to cut her hair and act like a guy and take care of her family.
its a really good book so far, but george thinks it would be more realistic if the girls in the story got raped by the soldiers like they do in real life. O.o
me and him started reading comics together in the middle of class, and i starred at him as he gave his science report for mrs. brown. we were doing weather studies.
im actually getting a C in science! yay me!!! i usually get and F! but i did get one in math. . .
i have to do dishes now, so by. . .
i have devoted myself to praying for johns job so that he wont leave me AND NEVER COME BACK. . . .and i have a new love interest. . .besides the two people im dating. . .i know, im really bad, but i didnt have time to tell the other guy that i wanted to break up with him for this other guy, so next time i talk to him, i have to tell him, because its bad to cheat!
i finished a ass load of books last week, six of them total. nora roberts circle trilogy and maggie shayne's vampire series. each series has three books. img oing back to the library to drop them off and get me and my mother some new books. and i am writing ANOTHER story. its called the night society. its really cool so far, i have 40 pages. and since john is busy and he might be moving away. . .[god forbid he leave me. . .] he wont be being my editor like he promised a LONG time ago. . .lol, the memories. . .
and as for my new love interest, his name is george thayer. he's a tall blue eyed blond. he is skinny and moscular at the same time because he halls wood. and he is just as smart as me [better in math] and he loves to read. i sit next to him in english an geography. we both are almost finished with our reading anigment that we started today. its a book called the breadwinner. its about this girl from afghanistan that has to dress like a boy because women arent aloud to be seen in that country because of the rules that the taliban made up. her father was arrested, so she has to cut her hair and act like a guy and take care of her family.
its a really good book so far, but george thinks it would be more realistic if the girls in the story got raped by the soldiers like they do in real life. O.o
me and him started reading comics together in the middle of class, and i starred at him as he gave his science report for mrs. brown. we were doing weather studies.
im actually getting a C in science! yay me!!! i usually get and F! but i did get one in math. . .
i have to do dishes now, so by. . .
Thursday, April 16, 2009
friggin stellar
um. . .i am actually very random this week. i got a library card and was happy. . .
i got to talk to john and spend the most time with him i ever have. . .[ 20 min at most]
and then i got this awesome dress. . .its black and silky. kyle and i have been glued to our phones. . .micheal guy asked me out. . .my ex asked me out. . .i found out one of my best friends has a crush on me.
my friend hailey came over and went to church with me on wendsday, and she is coming over again this saterday to go to my other church in gaylord with me. and i said yes to james. his hair is growing back, and he's looking good i guess.
he's been smothering me with attention all day. and while everyone else is happy for me, my friend kayla is kinda pissed. she calls dibs on beating the hell on him if he breaks up with me again.
AND THE BEST THING . . .
i found some black eyeliner on my floor. ^_^
i got to talk to john and spend the most time with him i ever have. . .[ 20 min at most]
and then i got this awesome dress. . .its black and silky. kyle and i have been glued to our phones. . .micheal guy asked me out. . .my ex asked me out. . .i found out one of my best friends has a crush on me.
my friend hailey came over and went to church with me on wendsday, and she is coming over again this saterday to go to my other church in gaylord with me. and i said yes to james. his hair is growing back, and he's looking good i guess.
he's been smothering me with attention all day. and while everyone else is happy for me, my friend kayla is kinda pissed. she calls dibs on beating the hell on him if he breaks up with me again.
AND THE BEST THING . . .
i found some black eyeliner on my floor. ^_^
Sunday, April 5, 2009
CHILDREN HAVE RULES!!!
aha, this week has been most interesting. ive done alot of cool stuff and bad stuff. [nothing really bad.] i have been on spring break since friday, and im going back to school on tuesday. me and caleb have had our ups and downs, and me and kyle took up text living. yes, he tells me good morning every morning, and texts me when im bored. [usualy something dirty]
caleb and i had our first argument where i clawed his eyes out and bared my fangs at him. I WON THAT BATTLE. and then he apologised and asked if we could just be friends. i said yes because im tired of fighting with people.
me and my aunt nessa went to the lybrary and checked out some awesome books, and then we went to a new store in town. [my aunt nessa has a problem with going into places alone.] she baught her dog a mini tux! he is a white shitsu names nitro.
i checked out this really cool and expensive dress . . .it was purple and long flowing and eligant . . .T_T
me and aunt nessa then went to the corner store where we baught sub sandwiches and pop, then we drove around town for a lil while to kill time.
and today, our bus worker matt got his buss licence and drove us to church. i saw heidi after like forever. kyle hid behind me all day because of the people picking on him. i found out that pastor hagland likes to text. O.o
and then after spending time at the adult servise with caleb and simona [ i fell asleep on her sholder] i met up with kyle and we baught a pop and then faught over who got the front seat of matts car. and since kyle is 14 and i am 13, he got the front seat. [dammit] me,zack,noah, and kyles little sister kaylie went to bc pizza playland. me and kyle followed the little kids into the big play structure. i found out kyle was chlosterphobic! we went in eight times, and by the time we stopped, he was totally un able to breath. but i guess we wroked on out flexibility. you have to be really lith to be able to go all the way through the big and narrow structure in under 1 minute!
and i am now content in my home watching my favorite neice [destiny] sleep. she's sooo cute! and by far my favorite neice out of the three i have! she's the cutist too...she hasnt cried in the two days weve had her, and she smiles alot. and she sleeps all through the night! lol
ttyl
caleb and i had our first argument where i clawed his eyes out and bared my fangs at him. I WON THAT BATTLE. and then he apologised and asked if we could just be friends. i said yes because im tired of fighting with people.
me and my aunt nessa went to the lybrary and checked out some awesome books, and then we went to a new store in town. [my aunt nessa has a problem with going into places alone.] she baught her dog a mini tux! he is a white shitsu names nitro.
i checked out this really cool and expensive dress . . .it was purple and long flowing and eligant . . .T_T
me and aunt nessa then went to the corner store where we baught sub sandwiches and pop, then we drove around town for a lil while to kill time.
and today, our bus worker matt got his buss licence and drove us to church. i saw heidi after like forever. kyle hid behind me all day because of the people picking on him. i found out that pastor hagland likes to text. O.o
and then after spending time at the adult servise with caleb and simona [ i fell asleep on her sholder] i met up with kyle and we baught a pop and then faught over who got the front seat of matts car. and since kyle is 14 and i am 13, he got the front seat. [dammit] me,zack,noah, and kyles little sister kaylie went to bc pizza playland. me and kyle followed the little kids into the big play structure. i found out kyle was chlosterphobic! we went in eight times, and by the time we stopped, he was totally un able to breath. but i guess we wroked on out flexibility. you have to be really lith to be able to go all the way through the big and narrow structure in under 1 minute!
and i am now content in my home watching my favorite neice [destiny] sleep. she's sooo cute! and by far my favorite neice out of the three i have! she's the cutist too...she hasnt cried in the two days weve had her, and she smiles alot. and she sleeps all through the night! lol
ttyl
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