okay, i thought i could handle it at least a year without cutting. but i guess not. i started again. but what do you expect? life is shit right now. i dont have much to do either, to take my mind off of things. but i am going to church in a few. kyle is a new uptake in my life, but im depressed that, with one thing that comes up, something goes away. and it just so happins to be the most important thing in my life.
i had a dream last night that my mom was going to die of cancer, and that i was going to die soon after. i guess the dream has me scared, because when i was asleep, i was thinking. i was actualy searching through my mind about my reasons for living. friends...family...my future...
but all of it seems really insignificant if the most important person in my life might be leaving for up to four years....i dont know if he/she will remember me when he/she comes back. and thats what scares me. i never really thought of myself as a memorable person. and thats most likely why.
gotta go, buss is here.
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